*OMG UN-fucking-CANNY

Half of the time I feel like
Just like*
The bin had to be removed because some idiot put brocken glass in it
Just like*
ruining it for everyone
Just like*
Shard and hard enough to say
Just like*
All Hell owes by the Tower
Just like*
I looked it up and even the Scarabaeus is just a fucking dung beetle
Just like*
rolling rolling rolling
Just like*
Put shards in my ball WTF you idiot!
Just like*
Not funny.
Just like*
D’you think I enjoy rolling the Big Beast’s excrement into a 1-bed for my baby?
Just like*
The sun the sun the sun, pushing the sun right across and pushing the son
Just like*
It’s’un cann I push it right (a cross) by pushing (what’s) left?
Just like*
Through the Brocken Spectre Effect, high above the clouds
Just like*
Trust me I tried, trickle trickle treat
Just like*
tickle tickle teat
Just like*
The Trickle fucking Down Effect isn’t that fucking great
Just like*
It’s non-stop dripping and my roof’s made of shit
Just like*
It’s non-stop dropping. In my position
Just like*
You’d be pretty fucking uncomfortable.
Just like*
You can stretch it, you can squeeze it, you can twist it.
Just like*
Orient all is m’
Just like*
y sense of orientation is my downfall as I’ve got no idea where I’m going what with 
Just like*
that ball of poo obscuring my view.
Just like*
Downfall, Not. As I’ve never been to the top, hat trick fucking cheek that, slap 
Just like*
£666 for a family my size
Just like*
London had to be removed because some idiot put brocken glass onto the Southbank.
Just like*
S’hard rain it in, said the jury.
Just like*
Hyper fluid capitalism will drop from the panels above you
Just like*
Verdict: Putty the windows in you idiot.
Just like*
You can even break it
Not like*
And out of the dirt we’ll rise again!
Just like*

The bin had to be removed, remember.

Let’s have coffee and talk loads

Lets have coffee and talk towards infinity or something.

Babe. Whats babe?
Babes babe is what it is.

Do you wanit in a for-here cup?

com com

mdamn a butterfly
I dont give a
sugar  sugar
honey honey
(stock prices on them sweet commodities gone up – im holding on)
candy girl
john candy died which is a shame i once had a gig with him
i danced around his fat torso while he
LED (me?) ON/Un
Lash (Slash) Eye / I
but thats another story
the plain (toast is not my thing)
the plane
the plane as in no features
the plane as in flat flat flat
on board
everybody on board?
As I said I have a fan.
Im so hot,
So business is taking off.
(switch off all electronic devices)
Oh Com Com!


Cup A

Just a nice cup of tea.
Isn’t automatically everyone’s cup of tea
                                                                 m Lady 1982 shades of beige. (Got hoodies made)
Just go figure the germs.
           (+n)            (-r)
Just you go ahead and pose the transmitted, the mitted (no touching / is mitted a Scrabble word)
The mitigating circumcision or did I mean circumference.

It takes me roughly 7 lines to get from scenes of domestic comfort to fucking hard and long.

Nah luv ta luv & all that. Come com–
promise and say making love, gently and briefly.

You gotta play with fire if you wanna get warm

Wharm is harm with a W.
Wham is Wharm without the r.
                                                  (we ever gonna dance again?)
The are
The arm, without the e- as in, IRL, d’you know.
In real life your arm around me would
Would, just would.
I’m not saying it did.
I’ve never said it ever will.
Will is another one of those tricky mates.
Will or not. I will, my will, won’t you? 

Mates is Hates with an extra letter. And one missing.
That’s how it goes.
Take one up, give one up.

I’m talking about the mates that have said: “we’re only mates, relax”

Ode on a Grecian Holiday

Look I was in Greece, right

And I was in this villa, right
And the villa was pretty smart, right
Built by this French Designer from the 60s
Only he built it 2 years ago
Only he started 7 years ago
Can I do sth with those numbers?
He came round
In his 83rd year (that’s those numbers plus one put next to one another. Just saying)
And he’s as hot as a dog they say
He brought this essay by Stravinsky on musical composition and read it to us as we lunched
In French
And we all nodded.
And his voice was sonor
And he now dates his Thai masseuse
Who does not speak a word of anything anyone understands
Except the Thai.
But there are none on the island.
Touch is something, though. And that helps.
Since he had an accident at one point in his life.
I can tell you he’s elegant, his corset is made out of calf leather from Venice.
The Villa looks out onto the sea.
The sea has been there forever.
It’s clear and it has a lot of funny fish.
I’d have seen them if I’d gone swimming but I stuck to the pool.
I don’t trust salt.
It fools you. You go: Oh, that looks blue and refreshing and then it’s savoury.
Savoury is not my idea of refreshing. Minty would be. Eucalyptus. Something like that.
He also brought his dog Lilliput.
Though it’s not particularly small.
It’s very dirty, which conceptually I liked amidst the drapings of Hermes towels.
But which I didn’t like practically.
I still don’t.
I stroke her, cos she’s too cute not to touch.
Then I wash my hands cos she is filthy and she smells.
Then I stroke her again, cos she followed me to the sink.
Then I smell the stink –
And so it goes
And so are hot days spent in the villa.
And by the villa
As the dog follows you to any nearby place, too.
For example the village party
Where all they serve is meat.
On a stick, mate.
And they say there is traditional music. The servants.
And it turns out synthesisers are the new traditional.
And I love them, so that’s good.
We wait and we wait and it turns out we wait for the village to come back from church.
And I wish I’d known that cos I’m a culturally curious one.
And I’d have gone to immerse myself, too.
Be the spirit with us all.
But then they all came and the sweet sweaty place filled up
It was outdoors.
But Greece is hot.
And I waited and waited for the dancing to start, because what’s a traditional Greek party without the dance.
And old and young, as they say, danced. Suddenly.
In One Big Circle.
If only it was that easy, I thought to myself.
And then there was this perfect girl with pink jeans and a white crop top.
Everybody danced but that wasn’t the point cos she was the point.
EVERYBODY’s point.
For example the guy-next-to-us-with-his-middle-aged-wife-looking-grumpy-for-a-reason’s.
His smartphone did a diagonal move down and around every time the pink bum swayed our way.
Za Za Zoom
And his wife’s face dropped.
No wonder I thought
No wonder we all thought.
But I wasn’t angry at the girl. She was a goddess.
And that’s what I came to Greece for, the real thing.
They come from Mount Parnassus to dance.
What a hip movement, I’m telling you.
Like the waves of the sea. But sweet so as to confirm my initial aquatic assumption.
Proves me right.
Served them, right.
And the next day the servant told us there were many many fights
Between couples
Between men
Over her.
Under her breath.
But of course.
How could there not have been.
And one day we went on a yacht.
And the servant went fishing and came back with something we weren’t allowed to eat.
But we didn’t know.
And we ate it and it was delicious.
And we were saving some for the next day.
And the police never came even though his mate joked
Saying they’d come to ask for him.
And the servant grew pale.
And we all laughed.
And he did, too, eventually.
But he didn’t look happy.
And one day I went down to the cliffs and posed for photographs in my Monet swim suit.
And I sang love on the rocks so long and so loud till the photographer got the joke
And laughed a little.
But I wore red lipstick so I couldn’t laugh cos it’d have gone on my teeth.
I smiled.
The lyrics could have meant something could not have.
And then he went skinny dipping while I couldn’t get off the rock and I had to sit and watch.
I don’t mind.
Although I wasn’t particularly invested, either.
There were many bees. And other things.
It was buzzing 100%
It was buzzing 100%, 100% of the time.
Not one quiet second.
That’s Greece.
That’s what they don’t tell you at the travel agents.
But then I booked online. And online they tell you a lot of things.
So much so that you can’t listen anymore.
But then the book I read was a novel set in Greece, from the 60s.
You probably know it.
And it said the landscape is intoxicating.
And I nodded, as I understood what he meant.
But I was not affected to that degree.
The 60s were a different time, mate.
I thought to myself.
Like who would have ever thought I’d be reading you on a Kindle.
The thing with eBooks is you never get how far you’ve got.
Every page is like the next. Is the next and one before.
Index index sameness calls it magnetic potential
And then someone on the island told me that The Magus is a really long book with hundreds and hundreds of pages.
And as my days were not like my device
Meaning I can actually see their stack get thinner n thinner
I knew I wasn’t gonna finish it in the few days I had left.
So I gave up and started drawing instead.
For what it’s worth.
You’ve got to say thank you to people when they let you stay in their house.
But my monetary possessions are limited.
You may be fooled into thinking I lie
As I own a Kindle.
But that was one foolish afternoon and Argos.
So I drew pictures for the owners.
But then messed them up, sadly.
So I gave them the only photo of me drawing on the outdoor sofa in a straw hat
And a long flowing dress
Drinking lemonade.
That conveys the feeling accurately.
Lemon is savoury. Lemon is sweet.
Lemon is imported from other places.
The island is the greenest island in Greece and imports are taxed.
And yet.
The world is One Big Mystery sometimes.
That conveys the feeling accurately.
And the men played backgammon a lot.
I didn’t because I can’t.
Left and right and right and left, it’s all so confusing.
I tried.
One has to try everything once.
Like the cheese pie.
Like the ouzo.
Like the moussaka
The protected species that are a delicacy.
Like the lifestyle of the wealthy.
I tried and failed a little.
I think it wasn’t noticeable.